Time for change

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My shoulders are sore, my neck is sore and my hip is sore. I was reading somewhere that sitting at a desk all day is killing us. I think that is what my body is telling me.I need to change my life, is it possible to change after all these years? Yes, you hear all the time about people who have changed their lives.

My problem is I’m always thinking of big changes, I need to focus on little habit changes. I need to develop a new happy good for me habit….one small step at a time.

Maybe yoga is the answer, maybe writing is the answer, maybe walking is the answer. I need to start with a small habit I can add to my life.

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2015……Here we go

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2015……Here we go.

Well, I was thinking today what resolution/resolutions should I make for 2015. My only resolution this year to to be happy and have fun. Last year, was stressful and I feel like I did not smile at all. My Mom passed away in February and my Dad in November and my partner’s Mom has been in and out of the hospital all year. Good times did happen, I started a new job, I visited two different countries for vacation (one sunny island vacation in January to get away from the winter and one in the fall to experience a different culture). I realize that life can not always be fun and games but more fun and games in 2015 would be nice.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and all the best in 2015. Here’s to laughter, fun and self discovery.

Just thought of another resolutions….being who I was meant to be.

My Major Supporter

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I was going to say that my major supporter had gone, but she has not.
My Mom died last Tuesday night, but is still my major supporter and always will be.

I’m sure she is happy to see her folks, Uncle Bill, Aunt Karen and Billy.

I’m still in shock, everything is moving so fast. I feel like I’m on fast forward.
I need to take a breathe but can’t, I just can’t slow down.

Girl Power and Girls Rule

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Girl Power and Girls Rule

Girls do not rule
How do I know this
Because
If they did
Women would feel safe in their homes

I was trying to think of any women heroes today? but I have to admit I don’t go to a lot of movies and watch mostly documentaries on TV. I can think of lots from the past, Wonder Woman, Bionic Woman, Charlie’s Angels, Ellen Ripley (Alien films) all from movies, but no really heroes.

We need really woman heroes, as I’m typing this the name Diana Nyad just came to my mind. She’s a really hero, she is the first person to swim Cuba to Florida without a protective cage. What does she say “we should never, ever give up” and ” you are never too old to chase your dreams” This was her fifth attempt since 1978 and her fourth since turning 60.

I’m sure there are lots, but why are they not front page, it could be as women we don’t want to make a fuss or prefer to work in the background to create change.

With the olympics approaching it should be interesting to see if any women heroes breakthrough and are able to maintain their front page status long after the olympics end.

Towards the Sun

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Just learned something about my portable keyboard. It does not work on the airport, it’s wireless.

Currently on a plane, on the way to the sun, not really the sun, but a warm climate.
Left the blackberry at home, looking forward to some relaxation . While I’m away I’m going to share and discover something new about myself and my partner.

I’m excited about what is ahead of us, all I see is happiness, love and laughter. I feel like I’m on a new road of discovery. I always try to be positive but something feels different this time.

Are you really to join me on an adventure? I’m really for an adventure.

On the move

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On the move……

Why do people want to change? I don’t mean develop and grow, I mean change.

Tonight I was talking about what I could change to make me a better person. A better person for who? Me or the world. I did not use the words, develop, grow, expand my horizons or anything positive, I used the word “CHANGE”. I used “CHANGE” as if there is something wrong with me and I needed to “CHANGE” to be a better person.

The impact of words is strong……remember what comes out of your mouth goes into your ears.

I don’t need to change, I need to remind myself of what I often forget……I’m great, I’m kick ass, I the best and I make mistakes but I’m great, I’m kick ass and I’m the best.

I’m on the move towards positivity.

Every morning before I get out of bed I will say something positive and every night I will give thanks for all I have.

Where do I want to be in five years?

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Where do I want to be in five years?…………Not here.

I want to be sitting on my sun porch writing about how to live your life to the fullest. I mean “your life” not someone else’s life. Living your life to the fullest means different things to different people and each of us has to discover what that means for us.

It has taken me a long time to discover who I really am, and how I will live my life and what that really means. I would like to help people travel down the road it took me years to travel. I don’t want to become a crazy author of some “self help book” I want to connect with people and let them know they are not alone, that I understand where they are coming from and have travel the same path.

I’m going to use the power of the written word to help people travel through life.

The Ugly One

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The Ugly One – Tarragon Theatre

My life feels very similar to this play. The play is about a guy who invents a new product and is unable to present his invention at a trade show because he is not handsome. People will not buy his product because he is ugly, it’s the best product in the world but the inventor is ugly so it will not sell. This is a reflection of my life…..everyone in my office (but me) is now under 35 and they all wear short skirts. It was not always this way….but with new management comes new staff.

Thank you

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Well it’s 2014 and the rest of my life is ahead of me…..I’m guessing, I’m not the only person to say this, at this time of year.
I was going to write a list of my 2014 goals, but I’ve decided against it. I’m going to try to life one day at a time and find something good in each day. I want my life to focus on the positive and the best way to do that is to be thankful each day. Each day, I will be thankful for something and each day before I go to bed I will say thank you.
One small step at a time and going forward it will be “Thank you”

I love my Mother

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I came to a realization today while I was writing about love and obligation that I feel obligated to my Father and I love my Mother.

My Mother is starting to develop (has) dementia and often says things that make no sense, the other day in one visit she told me when I arrived I looked like I had lost weight and by the end of the visit I had gained weight. My Mother is a generally happy person and likes to have fun and see other people having fun. Now when we talk it’s about the good times we had at the cottage during the summer…..and yes she repeats herself often and asks the same questions over and over again, but I love her. My mother always has a hug and kiss for me and loves to hold hands. My mother always says she loves me and that I’m a good person.

My Father does not have dementia and he is alert and his mind is healthy, yet he uses his mind in unhealthy ways. He is mean, controlling and demanding. He is not loving, if you try to do something nice for him, he does not say thank you, he says you are only doing it so he won’t cut you out of their will. He does not say he loves you or say anything positive.

I was going to visit my parents this weekend, but I told my Father I have a cold and was not feeling well and did not want to spread my germs. He did not say “take care of yourself” or “get better soon” or “get some rest and drinks lots of liquids” all he said was “I have a list of things for you to do for me the next time you come up.”

I remember sitting in church with him and his congregation was voting on whether to allow same-sex marriages to be performed in the church (I could not vote as the voting was for members only). My Father took a ballet and put it in his pocket, he did not vote, but by not voting he was making a statement.

He has said to me, “Oh you can do it, you don’t have any responsibilities” what does that mean? Because he thinks I’m not married and don’t have any children I have no responsibilities. I am married, my child may have four legs not two but I have responsibilities.

This is a giant breakthrough for me, like most people I feel that I should love both my parents and love everyone in general and if I don’t love everyone I am an evil person. I often talk about positive and negative energy and leaving the negative energy behind and moving forward towards the positive.

The road to positive thinking, love, understanding and freedom is hard, and to reach my goal I realize I have to leave negative influences behind.

I will not become my Father’s daughter.